Sunday, September 29, 2002
Elin's leavin.. for good..
Just came back from the farewell dinner for Elin at NYDC.. food there was yummy.. She is really leaving us soon to go back to sweden.. I can't say i'm very close to her.. considering half the time we are communicating with each other, we had to try really hard to understand.. BUT... afterall, we've been in the same team for almost half a year.. And we've been playing in the same line most of the time. Felt really sad when we had to go home. Was fighting not to let my tears show. Can't even send her off at the airport on Monday. Can't imagine what will i be like if it was my boyfriend who had to go overseas for studies. Elin is just a floorball mate and im already so sad, what then if its him? Oh dear, i forgot im such an emotional person.. Got a Harry Potter book from her though. I was very tempted to buy the book after i watched the movie a long time ago. And now someone is passing it to me! wad a good deal..
All these comings and goings are just part and parcel of everyone's lives... I just cant handle it well. There are so so many things in life which i regret doing and not doing. I sometimes wish some people would vanish.. I wish i just have alot of time on my hands to talk and visit all the people whom i wanna see. i dunno what im saying. I prolly wont be able to study much nor sleep well just thinking of all this. Yes, im DAT emotional. And anyway, I feel like i'm still thinking in the mind state of a 17 year old girl. Still bothering abt minor stuff, and doing things like one.. aye aye!!!! I shall just stare at the 5 walls from now till i go dreamland... =(
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Friday, September 27, 2002
It is a bad day today.
Truly a bad day. A post i made in the afternoon didn't actually get posted. And so i'm pissed. Yes i'm very very stressed by all the work that is piling up. People all around me are darn smarty people, not that im unhappy about it, since i always do ask them for help, but it adds on to my inferiorness and stress in me. Hiaz.. nothing i can do about it though except to pull my blardy socks up. Can't even handle past tutorials, not to mention new and harder materials being taught. I'm getting more and more quiet. Basically i dun have much people to talk to anyway. Yes i type, but i don't physically speak. Anyway, i'm starting to wonder where do i belong. I don't belong here.. nor there.. I feel like a wanderer.. I cannot stand people who moodswings on and off and talks to u or ignores you whenever he/she wants to. I feel like a puppet when people treat me this way. Here i am trying to make things better and make some conversation and there you are just giving me a few grins or yes nos just to wave me off. Well, that sounded like the old me eh? But the old me also used to talk more and yak alot with whomever she sees. Now i hate people like that. LIke the old me.
Ok.. so now for the big boo boo.... My cpu power supply unit fan has since died on me. It has probably died very very long time ago, just that i realise it only today. Why? Cos there was a burning smell and a sizzling sound when i turn on the comp tis afternoon after half an hr. And now im stuck to either my bed or my notes. And although xh has promised he wanted to come over tonite to take a look at it, he just called and said he can't make it. Prolly only on sun nite.. Well, i don't actually need the comp, but i feel handicapped without it. I want to fix it myself, but i totally have no idea how to even take the stupid thingy out. argh.. helpless.. other people can never understand you except yourself, perhaps you yourself don't even understand you.
whatever, my speech state of mind is incoherent, things are spewed out bit by bit as i can remember it. Actually i can plan very well what i wanna blog when im not at the comp, etc during lectures..
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Tuesday, September 24, 2002
Most clueless day of this sem.
I'm having a bawl of a time.. Yes bawl.. Im totally frigged out over tomorrow's 204 lab... Prolly its cause tis yr's lab arent so difficult as last sem's 108.. Every week is a timebomb when it comes to 108.. For this sem, its just tomorrow. I totally dunno what shit is it talking about! At least when i was clueless last time, i still can figure out abit.. But this.. is a goner...
Anyway i just visited his and her sites just now.. I think its really good. And they're just so sweet.. Really envy people for having good and close relationships like this. =)
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Friday, September 20, 2002
just cant help myself.
its 2+ in the morning, my stomach's growling. Looking at the bread on my table which i bought fer the picnic on sunday, i held it to my mouth without a thought. After chomping down almost 3/4 of the bread, i suddenly noticed some 'spiderwebs' or thread or mould some would call it, at the sides of the bread. Horror horror, i ran to the toilet, tried to instigate puking by sticking the finger into my mouth.. Nothing came out.. oh no oh no.. gonna have a real big stomachache or diarrhoea tmr.. =( result of greediness..
Anyway, one of my friends told me today that i seemed happier and less stressed these days, my dear roommate commented too that i seemed more stable (duh?!) compared to last semester when i was bogged down by all the unwanted and unhappy relationship matters. Well, its because i've gotten over it and i dun care for anyone with balls now. Can't be bothered and kinda waste time since its not going to be successful anyway, yes yes stupid thinking, but its the only way to console myself. I'm happy now. =p So ain't that a good sign? Ppl needn't stay clear of me now. =p But well, of course i CAN look and comment about stylo ppl ard me ya? Heh.. today in the canteen saw someone who looked like the italian lover in the movie Unfaithful sitting opposite me! Was drooling in my mind for the whole 45 mins! ha! I didn't say i like him, he's just an object meant for viewing.
Yes and anyway, in one of the sites and forum dat aj sent me, guys prefer shorter girls and girls prefer taller guys. Well, it all depends on how tall the guy is and how short the girl is. A 1.8m guy can hardly talk to a 1.5m tall girl ritey? So it really all depends. And yes, SG guys are really getting shorter and shorter, i wonder why. Mums don't eat enough height growing food for babies? hMm.. thus it is difficult for us girls to get decent height guys, and yes, after a failed relationship, i find that height does matter, even a little bit, it still does matter. It's all about the security part for both parties.
Dats it fer now.. I've pooped out all i wanted to say, gotta either get back to french or dreamland..
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Wednesday, September 18, 2002
ok im just going to stop right here and now.
will be back when i feel like it. or i will be back somewhere else. see ya.
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Monday, September 16, 2002
Sign of a big sickness coming ur way.
While i was half asleep and halfawake from my nap-cum-rest this afternoon at 1.38pm this afternoon, I woke up, trying to adjust my handphone alarm to 1.42pm.. The medicine-full and groggy me couldn't understand why 1.48 turned out instead of 1.42.. Tried a few times, still the same. Was wondering in my head my shitty phone koked up, so i went back to sleep reminding myself to wake up 5 mins later. When i woke up, my phone was functioning properly again. I guess in my groggy state, i had tried to press my phone just like i'm using the calculator. Silly o'l me.. Big sign dat my head is badly burnt up eh?
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Sunday, September 15, 2002
burnt and flu-ey.
Today was an ironic day.. I had fun and sadness. Woke up to a power failure-ed house. Aircon stopped. No fan. Urgh hotness. Hate it. Went to east coast for gathering with a slight cold. Waited for them for almost an hr before all turned up. Hiaz.. usual lateness problem. Super un-onz today.. Didn't cycle, didn't kayak.. couldn't.. didn't have mood either. Just sat there with gs and talked.. And i got sunburnt for that! hmm... Anyway when i left, i was already feeling pretty sick with my eyes running and nose running as well.. When i reached home, mum was out, with no car, since i was driving hers, and dad was sleeping.. Guess something wrong's going on in the house, but there was no one to tell me unless the goldfish can talk.. And so i left for hall sick and loaded with barang barangs all bymyself.. Lucky i met roger to go back tgt, the journey didnt seem so short after all.. And now, i gotta finish up my lab so dat i can come back durin the 3 hr break tmr to rest my nose...
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Saturday, September 14, 2002
Went to stadium cove today to look at all the barangs there... Not too many shops as the website had advertised, but I think its just enough to satisfy me.. =p Bought a pair of red sandals at 9 bucks! I just love buying shoes... Wonder wad roomie will say when she sees dat i buy new shoes again.. hee.. Anyway, the things there are cheaper than some stuff sold in Orchard as we've seen when we went to orchard after dat.. They have really really nice and unique wristbands, bangles and necklace which im SOooooooooo tempted to gEt! Although it isnt too exp, I just didn't wanna spend any more money.. NOw i regret.. should have gotten it, nvm, shall go again soon..
Anyway, while i was on the way there on the mrt.. there was this girl, who came into the carriage with a guy friend whom i suppose is NOT her boyfriend.. She doesn't look like an ah lian.. But she was talking so so so loudly on her handphone! and with all the knns.. and more nasty words which i cant think of any abbreviations to represent them and shan't pollute my site with them.. Hmm.. A GIRL... in the mrt.. I'm not suprised to see almost all eyes in the carriage on her.. Behaving so crudely, and speaking into 2 phones at the same time.. As if doing big business.. I feel so sad for the guy to be hanging out and standing around with her.
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monthly ritual.
Friends need not be there all the time. Just be there when they need you. When you're in a good mood, you think tis is very very true. Thats what friends are for, helping and listening in times of need. BUT when you're not in a good mood, you think, this friend only comes to you when she needs help.
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Thursday, September 12, 2002
what the....
all my hard earned rants are gone??! darn the comp... too lazy to write all over again.. cut it short.. i dun like me. thus i dun like people who are like me. attitude and extremeness mood swing. period.
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Wednesday, September 11, 2002
I'm a good girl today.. Killed alot of braincells by concentrating 90% on my lab... The other 10% was used to rant to myself about how insufficient the textbook and notes are.. darn..
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Tuesday, September 10, 2002
hUmpffffffffffffffffff.......
i feel like just boycotting everything.. everybody.. yes you people are having your hols so of cos can organise all sorts of blardy stuff and make me go down for them.. then happy happy last minute cancel when i have organised my time plans according to YOUR gatherings.. so tmr's cancelled, i wonder if i should just act sick and not turn up for it since you are making me bring so many things whereas i bet the rest aren't bringing much.. humpfff
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moi first quiz!
Which tarot card are you?
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Monday, September 09, 2002
Played volley for IBG today.. Was quite happy actually.. although i didn't play much in the actual game, onli about for half the game.. but i played out of the court with the others.. Made a few friends again. =) And i didn't scoot over to the 66 ppl's side.. was quite tempting actually, but i see no one on the other side who is strong enough to compel me to go over.. ha! Having red hands now but feel totally awesome, and moreover monday is finally going to be over, the blurblur lab and the french test, all over! However, theres still a lab on wed.. aye aye aye..
I feel that some people are really really stubborn and persist to stick to their own ways which is WRONG. Even after enlightening them, they r still very very doubtful, and i wonder why i sometimes even BOTHER to help them.. Stupid ol' me.. And... i still can't stand blur people.. I really cannot.. Prob sometimes they act blur.. but.. argh.. why? why people wanna act blur? And be blur? I mean you don't have to go around poking your noses into everybody's matters, but it wont hurt if you gather more knowledge at least you wont be at the losing end. Everything dunno dunno.. "huh huh huh..." Sorry.. my rants... dun like.. dun see k?
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Sunday, September 08, 2002
woke up at 7.30am on a sunday morning to make my way to choa chu kang stadium for the floorball carnival.. I had a feeling last nite dat somethin's gonna go wrong today.. Well it did, when i go there, only 2 out of our 4 team members were there, and we're starting the game at 10.10!! I simply cannot understand why.. Its such an important thing.. to me only probably.. But anyway, all of them made it time for the first match.. Phew.. and we won the 1st 3.. well.. of course credits to our dear Elin.. I will try to get the photos from her asap and post it up when i can.. =p And i really did try quite a few shots this time! prob cos i was given the chance this time.. I think individually we all did very well. Hurray to us! =D
Anyway, we lost 2 of them afterwards and so was kicked out, but then I was able to go home and have dinner cos we ended early! =D
And, im feeling quite happy with clean crisp nice coloured bedsheets and sweeped floor.. HAha.. But.. I still gotta study fer my quiz tmr and tis week is the busy week!! darn.. got java lab on wed and algo quiz on thur too.. Gotta go out get my cdrw and celebrate fish's bdae on wed too.. My pocket's emptied and my mind's tired....
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Friday, September 06, 2002
aww...
My dad just called me.. I missed the call.. accidentally.. was in clar's car on the way back to hall.. couldn't hear it.. I called back.. Thinking he called to check up on me.. But.. I was wrong.. he called to say he just wanna hear my voice.. *tears* I so so so so love them..
ears: Hoobastank - Running away
I don't want you to give it all up
and leave your own life collecting dust
and I don't want you to feel sorry for me
you never gave us a chance to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
and tell me that everythings all right
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrafice
and I was the one who was lifting you up
when you thought your life had had enough
when I get close you turn away, nothing that I can do or say
so now I need you to tell me the truth
you know I would do that for you
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
To make you change your mind
Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
Is it a waste of time?
Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
to make you change your mind
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
(What is it I have to say?)
So why are you running away?
(To make you admit you're afraid)
Why are you running away?
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Thursday, September 05, 2002
I'm home! =)
Just wanna make a post since i can't watch tv since someone else is watching channel 8.. argh..
Went mamboing last nite.. drank a little more than usual but somehow, the mood's just not there anymore, why? I'm getting sick of it after just 1 year? hmm... can't be.. not much of a motivation to do anything else i guess.. Anyway, saw a few familiar faces from hall last nite.. jw.. bee.. alan.. and yea.. those poledancers as well..Saw some happenings that i shouldn't as well.. but aye.. heck la..
Anyway, I've made a good friend whom i'm quite close to these days, but then, think she's still quite normal and ok towards me.. I want to help in whatever i can, but being in the same boat and sometimes helpless, i can't do much when in need of help.. hiaz..
Anyway, i'm back home.. but mum has just gone out.. dad hasn't come home yet.. I'm really really a weird person.. I cannot handle changes.. I can't accustom myself to a different environment.. I just wanna be a stick in the mud and not do anything about it.. When im here, i dun wanna go there... When im there i dun wanna come back here.. wads wrong wif my senses? hmm..
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Wednesday, September 04, 2002
swearing off instant noodles and cup noodles for the next 2 days.
*eating chu qian yi ding cup noodle for lunch... *
*had koka cup noodles for dinner last nite.... *
argh... no more for me!! hair dropping off.. *tugs at balding head*
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Monday, September 02, 2002
i miss home..
I just stepped into the room... but even before i left home, i already started missing them! Prolly you might find this complaint vv familiar, cos ive talked about this b4.. I hate leaving home for school when im at home.. and i hate leaving school for home when im at school.. I just cannot adjust myself to the surroundings eh? As i was stepping out of my home room just now, I was thinking... What if I never got to see the room, the house, my parents and my bro again? I would just be leaving everything halfway and never coming back again.. Really really love my parents.. Even more so now after I've experienced sort of independent life outside.. if ever one day i just die like dat.. someone please tell them i love them!
And in case you think im starting to go crazy... im not.. i'm just thinking alot.. as usual.. just more.. and cos someone distant to me just passed away recently.. just thinking what if........
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hee.. im talking to kc now.. =p kinda surprised tis time it could last so long... =p
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Sunday, September 01, 2002
My whoolllleeeee body was aching like mad when i woke up this mornin.. after yesterdae's match and doing those fats-killing dips.. or wadever u call it.. However, i made up fer it by eating alot.. hmm.. not that i wanted to.. just that daddy and mummy keeps on feeding me whenever i come home every weekend.. gee.. my tummy's growling again.. yikes..
Anyway.. Me and aj wanted to go sls to get a burner.. since theres a sales going on there.. however, on my way to bugis to meet her, when i was telling yiwei abt the sale.. he told me he had jus gone yesterdae and everything was sold out yesterdae! gOsh.. i can't believe this... Yea i expected that there will be a crowd.. but i didnt noe it wld be soooooo fast! We mustn't underestimate Singaporeans must we? Aye aye, and with a little bit of hopes, we hopped onto a bus on the way to suntec for the comex exhibition.. Upon reaching there, there were HEAPS of people.. like its totally free over there.. Oh.. and we saw jacky alvin and fabian there too.. They didnt look like they bought anything though.. yeah anyway.. We went in hoping to get some good buys.. and.. yesh.. u guessed it... "Sold out.." the words were everywhere.. even those not really gd brands were sold out! hmm.. so we just walked around and around.. I saw this classmate of mine, he seemed quite surprised to see me, i didn't really recognise him at first.. so i just 'diao' him and looked away, then after dat i realised he is my classmate! yiKes.. haha..
After that we went to the fountain of wealth to blow some wind.. aye.. the sight there.. couples everywhere.. but.. the place there is really good.. good view and good music too.. when will i not go there with girls?
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