Sunday, October 31, 2004

it will be over soon..
he did it again.. he lied again.. a simple thing, yet he has to lie..
i did it again.. i wont blame him entirely, i am partly responsible becus i couldn't control myself becus of what he did to me..

leopards will never change their spots, will they?

i plead for effort to be put in, i plead for compromisement(if theres such a word), i plead for happiness, i plead for honesty and faithfulness..
but a common standing will not be reached..

i pray for all my concentration to be directed towards my exams for the next weeks.. i pray for happiness for me, and for him..

penned at ¶ 1:22 PM

Thursday, October 21, 2004

im an angry girl who hates my life. i hate the world and i hate myself. i want to tell all the people to shut the fuck up becus they are disturbing me, yet i crave for human contact. i want to talk and laugh with them but yet they wouldn't stop to talk and laugh with me. Maybe this is the wrong time. i want to tell them to stop flirting in front of me and tell the fucking guy off if you aint interested in him.
i have a very small number of ppl whom i call friends now and none of them are within 10km distance of me. some people don't know they have the capability to make others cast away frm the group. it may be fun to you becus u r laughing at others out of the group, but when its ur turn, dun turn to me, for when i needed you you casted me aside. i hate being alone, yet i am alone most of the time now.
i can't concentrate on my studying becus i spend my time thinking about rubbish like this. i dun understand why ppl don't compromise. i thought for you all and i initiated to ask you all. yet all you want is your way, your way, and your way.

yes you are smart, and im not but that doesn't give you all the right to look at me that way and treat me this way.

penned at ¶ 3:31 PM

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

just had supper with winny and jay... it was good to talk to old friends who doesnt contribute to the daily stress..

penned at ¶ 2:41 AM

Monday, October 18, 2004

if loving someone causes you to hurt yourself, will you continue to love that someone? im still searching for the answer..

penned at ¶ 8:09 AM

Friday, October 08, 2004

She's gone.

penned at ¶ 3:15 AM

Saturday, October 02, 2004

She's awake... She's back to me. Just came back from the hospital. She's conscious now. But she can't sense me. I called out to her many times. I held her cold hands. Massaged her hands just like I did at her home 2 weeks ago. I called out to her some more. But she didn't look at me. She didnt respond.. She mumbled some things, but we couldn't make any sense out of it except for 2 words in dialect.. wanna die.. =(

When we were about to leave, kl told me to go close to her ear and tell her who i am and that im leaving. i did jus dat. she opened two of her eyes and looked at me and nodded her head. i was happy for that. a little response is better than no response. i will continue to pray for her... i hope she gets finer soon.

thanks for yer concern khin n winny.. i'll be ok if shes ok..

penned at ¶ 1:30 AM