Wednesday, October 30, 2002
roger found this on his frd's away msg...
"when love boils down to hatred.. dun hate yourself nor those who cares for you....
treasure those who stood by to make you smile..
to hell with jerks.."
i should take the friend's advice too..
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Saturday, October 26, 2002
Just did a daaaaamn sinful thing..
I downed the whole can of campbell soup allllll by miself, yours truly.. Feelin' quite full now.. (but of course) Sigh.. seems like all the crunches doin has gone down the drain.. =p Well.. can't blame me.. blame it on the swing.. Has been real low since i came back this afternoon... can't sleep it off.. can't tear it out... can't sing it out either... nothing works.. hope food works.. it always does.. haha
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I have no idea what makes me happy these days. I can't remem the last time where i was truly happy.
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Wednesday, October 23, 2002
Takin a break..
Jus had dinner.. takin a break from studyin.. gOnna watch charmed later..
oh yah anyway, today while i was at the canteen fer lunch.. saw the whole big group of 66 ppl in the canteen.. all sitting in one big long table like a big big family.. most of them whom i was quite close with last sem... Now they look at me like im tested animal out on parole.. like strangers.. I dunno why.. but, well.. just heck it.. i dun need french fries friends.. i only need hs ps and mad... And so i was in a really really bad and down mood after that, didnt even have any concentration power to study after that! Had to go up to my own room to sing and scream away those blues.. Partly in my heart, i was blaming him for the way things are now.. He still has those friends, whereas mine are just somehow gone.. i dunno...
woo hoo!! some tests...
oH yea.. found alot of brushes i can play around with after exams! *beaminG*
What Sign of Affection Are You?
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What Sort of Romantic Are You?
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What's Your Bedroom Personality? (For Her)
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hUh? hahahaa..
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Sunday, October 20, 2002
Every year, twice, i would feel this way. Never felt it before in jc or sec school... Only here.. I would study till i dunno what i'm studying and feel like crying.. yea.. like a cry baby huh.. im really doubting if i would make it to convocation in 2005...
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Friday, October 18, 2002
How Emotional Are You?
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hmm... not very true eh?
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Thursday, October 17, 2002
Double s....
I'm sad.. Today's the last day of french lesson, and i forgot to ask them if they had film cos i had the camera but not the film.. Most of us are from different courses and we don't see each other often as the campus is do darn big.. It was a very interesting subject and Sabine has been very kind to us, some say she's the best french teacher around here.. Though we don't communicate much with the guys like melvin, toonkeng, sehkeong, lip keat, ian and chongkit, they provide alot of entertainment for us durin lecons esp the 3 guys behind.. haha.. the girls like me, vivian, stella, sneha and shikha were very close to each other! Aye aye.. Machiam graduation from a class... I am just SO emo....
Yeah im scared too.. I couldn't understand what junqiang and allan were talking about when i joined them for the study group this afternoon while waiting for french, cos i havent studied that part yet! I'm very thankful to all of them for patiently explaining things to me... Without them i think i will die faster and with a worse fate... Damn.. I feel so useless.. and.. there's only 7 more days... is this it????
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Wednesday, October 16, 2002
I'm very tired.... I just wanna sleep on and on and on... don't move, don't think..
HEALER
(Submissive Extrovert Concrete Feeler )
Like just 9% of the population you are a HEALER (SECF)-- caring, good with people, and patient. You are completely selfless and full of love. As a concrete feeler, you do well with your emotions, which are very strong. You understand and appreciate *why* you feel the way you do, and for the most part you're at peace with yourself.
Suffering in the world really pisses you off.
In relationships, it's easy for you to get hurt. Avoid all kinds of dominant (D***) people, *especially* in dating or marriage. You are a motherly figure, even if you're a guy. If you're a girl, make sure you're a mom some day. The world's children need people like you. If you're a guy, don't even think about it. Most pedophiles are HEALERS.
On the rare occasions when you try to assert yourself, you're cute and awkward, but highly effective.
Hmm... i was a "Helper.Who.Finds.Missing.Children.Over.Internet." last time...
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Sunday, October 13, 2002
yum yum... mummy and boy jus came over to my hall.. brought me birds' nest and indian rojak too.. Though they barely stayed for 5 mins (think cos mum rushing off for mahjong session), i feel full of family warmth now! =D
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Serendipity.
Yup, i just finished watching a movie again. This time Serendipity.About fate and destiny. Do you believe in it? Well, yes i do. I believe there's someone out there for everybody. And fate plays a big part. I hate it when fate makes playthings out of us, the person you're looking for could jolly well come out of the door after you have passed it, it's just a matter of chance and time. When will you meet yours? When will i meet mine? Does everybody makes the right decisions with the one they have found? I hope we just don't regret what we have or have not done. Be patient. Everyone's turn will come.... Question is when...
Ser-en-dip-i-ty (n) the art of making happy discoveries, or finding the unexpectedly pleasant, by chance or segacity.
ears: Ayumi - Hanabi and FF tunes... (introduced by roger and martin while studying.. =) )
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Saturday, October 12, 2002
I just watched finish a french movie, le fabuleux destin d'amelie.. could only hear a few parts of it cos my french not very powerful u see.. But there were english subtitles.. It's a reaaaaaally very nice show.. Goin to watch it again after exams.. It has a happy ending.. Dat's what i like most about it.. =D
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Thursday, October 10, 2002
I'm worried...
The pain has come back. For the past 4 mornings as i sit up from my bed, i feel a huge twine of pain in my right lower butt and leg area.. It's like the bone is not placed correctly when i sleep. Always had to limp to the toilet, even the auntie there walks faster than me. I always try not to show my pain but its really hindering my movement. Funny thing is after about 1-2 hours after waking up, my leg will go back to its normal condition and its as if nothing has happened. I hope it will go away soon like last time. Contemplating on seeing a doctor, but at a lost of which doctor to see, chinese doctor or western doc? Take an Xray? what can they do to help me? Eating medicine can hardly improve bones rite? Chinese doc? how can they ever twist my butt/hipbone? Aye.. prolly after exams den tell parents...
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Monday, October 07, 2002
From the start of the day even before i slept, it was a bad day. Shan't elaborate on it and spoil my mood now.
However, this brightened up my day a whole lot. Did i mention dat i just looove angels? Nope, think i didn't. Yea, i just love them. =D
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Sunday, October 06, 2002
The song my winamp player is playing now on random mode is so apt for most of our situations.. My very first mp3 i still remember.. 20 more days..
ears: Arkarna - So Little Time
Took a while to drag me out of bed,
Aim some coffee at my head,
Saw the clock I'm running late,
It's an ordinary day.
And I'm like a dog on heat,
Knock one out and then fall asleep,
It's sad but true,
I'd rather be with you
Don't you forget about me,
When you're a celebrity,
It will be only you and me
Before too long.
So little time so much to do,
I'd rather spend my days with you,
So little time so much to do,
I'd like to spend more days with you,
And if that day is not enough,
Maybe we can stay in touch,
But i'm not making plans for tomorrow,
For tomorrow never comes.
Said I've been celibate for years,
Not out of choice there's no-one here,
See I can't get my end aaaway,
Another ordinary day,
And I've love to see a little more of you,
You're clothes would look better on my bedroom floor, bedroom floor.
Don't you forget about me,
When you're a celebrity
I know you're busy,
But we all need somebody - before too long
So little time so much to do,
I'd rather spend my days with you,
So little time so much to do,
I'd like to spend more days with you,
And if that day is not enough,
Maybe we can stay in touch,
But i'm not making plans for tomorrow,
For tomorrow never comes.
It's in your eyes, in your eyes
So little time so much to do,
I'd rather spend my days with you,
So little time so much to do,
I'd like to spend more days with you,
And if that day is not enough,
Maybe we can stay in touch,
But i'm not making plans for tomorrow,
For tomorrow never comes.
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Friday, October 04, 2002
Missing.
Yup, i think i have gone 'missing' for many a time tis few daes.. Just gone without a word to somewhere unknown to most people. I just don't report my being to people anymore, not even my roommate. Well, of course i dun have to do that in the first place, but well, yea, i feel this is the way i want it to be. So isn't it good? Be it going out, or going dinner with family, or to the study room, nobody knows, well, except those who dun need to know, they know... What am i blabbering about..
Yes, and i think i know where i stand in the certain groups of people i hang out with in my life, those who see me everyday, some will immediately notice im not feeling well and show some concern ( some overly-concern though =/ ) and yea well, some don't even notice. Too busy with their own stuff.. So dats why im livin a hermit's life, which is good. Gains me independence. hA! bull...
Oh.. and.. i lost my sci fac tee!! darn.. stupid girl over the other side must have stolen my tee.. so big and lousy tee they oso wanna steal... or perhaps it flew away? but i checked the trees and the ground floor.. Dun have.. sigh....
oke... shall carry on for a while reading my notes till i hear no good songs on radio den i shall go sleep.. Oh and i had dinner with family today again! my bro's bdae! hee.. MUST get something for him after my exams, though he didnt get me anything.. =(
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Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Just came back from having dinner with parents. Yup its a weekday and im having dinner with them, why? cos its my dad's birthday. Happy birthday! though i doubt he wont ever look in here, i hope not too! ha! Yea, anyway i felt really homey and happy while i was with them. Away from stress and 'friends' around in here..
Ya noe, everytime something unhappy happens to me, i always get upset very very easily, but when something happy happens to me, i get happy very easily too.. I'm very very emo huh.. And i always feel like i will shift tis blog somewhere else, but when im actually sitting in frt of the comp, i dun do so, prolly i will really do tis someday, so dat only strangers will read. Anyway, i'm not gonna share anymore news with them, since they dun really appreciate news.. So, why make myself get some fake and fu yan responses? Just dun breathe a word!
Oh and im really really stressed tis daes.. I feel so stupid when my friends are discussing abt labs and i know nuts about what they're talking abt.. Pros and cons of havin smart friends.. BUt the lab yesterdae was really fun! Lucky i paired up with reman to do the lab, heh.. if not, i wonder when will i get it to be in working conditions. The lights were so pretty! Green and red and one yellow one.. hee.. they looked like flowers with leaves when all are lit, and christmas lights when they are alternating! hee.. reman must have thot i was a crazy girl amused by such small small things.. =)
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