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 Thursday, April 28, 2005

hanging on..

didnt do very well for the econs paper today.. am actually quite afraid i'll flunk it... hopefully other ppl are as careless as me.. trying to cramp some last minute stuff into my brains now for tmr's sw paper... trying hard to hang on to sanity and not let it ooze out becus this is defnitely not the right time to do so... 14 more hours.. then it can flow endlessly.. for 1 day only though, den it has to stop.. cus i still have a killer paper next wed.. i wonder wad went thru my mind when i registered for this subject... "interest" was wad i told myself.. and others... now i think its foolishness.. i hope i can graduate this june..

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 Friday, April 22, 2005

today was supposed to be one of the days in a month which i always look forward to.. but now it has ceased to be..

have not been studying very hard for the past few days.. been very distracted and restless.. can't keep my butt on the chair.. so i meddled with my cam and photoshop..



there was a very nice view of the palm trees against the purple sky.. too bad my point and shoot cam didnt do a very good job.. used rog's shoulder as the tripod stand.. ha..

anyway i just had a 30 sec conversation with one of my neighbours whom ive never really spoken to before, but only smiled and acknowledged each other's presence even though i was one of the coordinators for her dinner & dance of hall 2 years ago.. yeh they may be noisy.. VERY noisy sometimes.. but im gonna miss the place and the peeps around here... my silent neighbours...


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 Monday, April 18, 2005

last study group of our uni life...

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 Friday, April 15, 2005

Julia Fordham - Happy ever after
went for my first interview yesterday.. prepared a whole list of lines to answer if i should be asked any of the common questions.. was full of jitters and what nots.. and i sat at the busstop for 15 mins rehearsing my lines cus i reached the place relatively early.. surprisingly.. i spoke less than 20 words throughout the entire interview.. the meeting was basically for the manager to elaborate the jobscope to me.. telling me wad kind of person he wants.. how the company and his section is doing.. basically his section = him in singapore only.. there'll be lots of travelling involved for this job and not too much of programming heh.. which is great for me! :) well.. IF i get the job that is.. he seems to give me quite positive feedback about hiring me... so lets jus cross my fingers and hope that i'd be so lucky to get a job on my first try!

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 Wednesday, April 13, 2005

life has been ok for the past few days for a certain time duration... when the sun's up im ok.... when the sun's down im not ok....

been studying at nie library with a few friends lately.. some who know of my condition.. some who don't.. nevertheless, my mind was taken away from the pain and hurt when im out with them.. focused on studying and trying to keep awake.. but when im back in my own room.. nasty painful memories start creeping into my head.. they remind me of the happiness, although it was prolly pseudo happiness, that i once had.. of the emptiness in my heart that was once occupied.. of the half mended cracks of my heart.. of the loneliness and longing i feel everyday now...

things are the way they should be now.. i should be glad but i cant help thinking if i had been more naive, if i had been less bothered, i would still be in my pseudo happiness now..

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 Saturday, April 02, 2005

with or without you..
i can live...

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