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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
biatch.
People in question do not understand the hints given to them. People not in question give alot of concern. Thanks.
I hate it when my moods, feelings, actions are controlled not by me, but by others.
my lovely wallpaper with winamp buttons splattered all over..
penned at
Friday, March 26, 2004
somehow, I've been reading alot of blogs at work. randomly surfing..
saw a blog of suicide... a woman who has so much contact with first hand experience of suicide twice in the family...
came across some overseas blogs of married and divorce people as well.. all their emotions.. sexual frustrations.. frustrations with kids.. happiness with the other party.. wild thoughts which will never be said out loud.. it seemed like those stories on sandra brown books dat i used to read when i was younger.. gives me the thought that everybody has unsaid thoughts.. thoughts which will put them in the bad light once said out loud.. i cant be like dat.. whatever i feel, ive got to get it out.. i dun like to keep sad or happy things in my head alone.. i need to get it out so ppl will noe how i feel.. but i realise it isnt gd.. so im trying to change... keep things to myself.. to prevent further unhappiness.. i feel uncomfortable though.. like im standing out of my body.. wondering whos this... im not me anymore... do i like the new me?
pardon me, brain's in a mess.. but im feeling happy now.. i dunno why.. i think ive gone looney...
penned at
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
it makes my day to see an old friend once in a while, especially by the weird twist of circumstances. :)
penned at
Monday, March 22, 2004
'tis a happy day!
*skips*
penned at
Thursday, March 18, 2004
YOU.. dun fucking push all the blame to me when you don't even know the details yourself. Your words are taken with a pinch of salt as we all know because you are incompetent. I will "get into BIG TROUBLE" as you put it, its all because YOUR instructions are as hazy as the murky water.
and YOU.. never there when i need you. YOU expect me to call you back when you asked me to. And when it comes to you saying you will call me later, YOU never did will...
and YOU.. think you're the king huh. Idling away your fucking time, living on others, being a fungus everywhere.
Alrite... 3 fingers pointing at others, i still don't feel better.
penned at
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Daddy's back this morning! Heard his familiar cough from the room while groggy me was walking to the bathroom.. never missed him so much even when i stayed in school for a month studying... =D
penned at
Monday, March 15, 2004
Is there no halfway line? Must it be this extreme or the other extreme? Why can't we do it 50-50..
I believe if the big L is strong enough, it can survive hardships.. problem is how much more can i endure.. I've been doing silly things to myself.. I cant believe i actually did that.. When will the sun come out of the dark clouds...
penned at
Thursday, March 11, 2004
nice song.. nice cruel lyrics..
ears: Eamon - I don't want you back
[Verse 1:]
See i dont, know why, i liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, i loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, i wanna let u know that i feel
[chorus:]
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
[verse 2:]
You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, i heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another hag, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Ya questioned, did i care
You could ask anyone, i even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but i truly mean im sad
It hurt real bad, i cant sweat that, cuz i loved a hoe
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
[Until the end]
penned at
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
afraid..
tis morn when i woke up, i found myself almost falling to the ground when i stood up, and limping to the toilet.. =0 horror.. whatever was happening to my right leg few months ago was happening to my left leg.. its not the leg actually, its the joint between the butt n the leg.. actually last night i could sense that somethin was wrong with left... there was the sickeningly familiar crack when i turned my left leg... same kind of pain... i wonder why...
i didnt fall down durin the match.. only twisted my left ankle a lil... and got a whack on my inner thigh leaving a dark blue bruise.. seems like the bug flew from my right to my left...... please go away..
penned at
Thursday, March 04, 2004
ears: MLTR Greatest Hits.. oooh
I'm bored. Nothing to do. Even sent an email to my IC (no not the bitchy sup, the guy ic) asking him if theres anything he needs me to do. haha.. am i stupid or wad..
ah well, yest's training wasnt very productive.. i reached at 7+ as usual, but they ended at 9.15 cus the girls were goin zouk. poor me couldnt join them. but anyways, i got bulldozed down by ed, cus as usual, he ran his mightiest, and not seeing where he was running except aimin the ball at the goal. oh and i sustained a shot near my neck area, it hit the lock of the necklace, and now i have a few red hole marks from the ball, s shot it, but she didnt bother to apologise, or even look apologetic for that matter, just continued her pasar. wth. i mean, i noe my shots are hard too, and of course i don't aim at people, but if i accidentally hit my own teammate, i wld bother to ask if shes alrite, no she doesnt. she jus wails loudly if MY ball hits her. b.........
anw, gonna send daddy off tonite.. cancelled an appt wif him to go have dinner with family. if anything happens to me or dad, i would regret like hell not seeing him or him me b4 he goes overseas. yes, i noe im a lil crazy and on the negative side, but i don't want to have to cry over regrets.
penned at
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
im better now, we both are. Things are fine, nothing more i can ask for.
I hope it remains this way for a longer period of time before anything comes up again.
anyway, i've been feeling fat ever since i saw some photos.
Wanna try out some pilates classes or gym periods.. Anybody has anywhere to recommend or some effective methods of shedding fats? (I have loads!) I run alot.. legs are slim.. upper body's not.. alien eh?
penned at