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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
i couldnt wait to see him today.
i couldnt wait for the bus to come quickly yet it came at a later time today.
they told me yesterday the one diagonal of him had passed away.
they told us to be prepared.
i brought him some snacks yesterday.
it was raining, i didnt go.
i got mum to bring it.
today i saw him. weaker day by day.
he was saying something, motioning with his hands.
i couldnt understand. i felt frustrated.
he felt frustrated too.
i looked at his feet.
they were the same pair of feet that gave me his slippers in primary school when i broke mine in school, and he had to take a bus and walk home barefooted just so that i had something beneath my feet.
he started crying while we sat enjoying the evening breeze.
i cried with him, he was probably thinking of her.
he motioned it was dark, time for me to go.
he still loves me.
i love him too.
i love her too.
i cant wait to see him again soon.
i want him to stay by my side.....
i just wanna cry out loud, but im afraid ppl might see, and i would fail the strong image that i always hold around these few people...
i just wanna cry.. and cry... .
penned at
Sunday, September 04, 2005
was at comex yesterday with ps and hs..
we were asking this young and ang moh speaking female promoter at one of the stalls selling harddisks wad are the different harddisks they have (we already have some info on hand provided by the earlier stall promoters).. there she was using her damn strong slang trying to throw us some smoke bombs like she prolly always did in her tutorial class.. asked her wad are the prices of the physical sizes of the 40Gb and 100Gb harddisks they have.. the ans we want were simply 2.5 or 3.5 inch prices.. but she jus kept smoking us and pointed her nicely manicured fingers to the flyers on our hands at the 40Gb and 100Gb columns.. yes miss, we want the different physical sizes.. not the harddisk size.. i was jus rolling my eyes to myself and wonder why they actually hire young people like dat without even briefing them the very basics of the stuff they're selling....
and there was another girl who was trying to smoke ps at one of the mp3 stalls.. ps' bf was asking the girl wad music formats the player supports.. and this girl was jus happily rattling off can listen to mp3.. can listen to radio.. ehlo? the qns was format... the ans is jus mp3 or wav or wma blahbla.. seriously.. must noe at least the basic rite?
as ps says.. even she noes better than the girl!
Anyway we celebrated hs' 23rd birthdaY! It was a good day.. smiles, mad laughter, hideous laughter, silly jokes, silly flashbacks..
penned at
Thursday, September 01, 2005
alien...
howhow.. i think im alienating myself from most of the world.. im rejecting invites to go for group makan.. pushing away 3 groups of people to go out on a friday, and finding another gf from 1st 3 months jc class to go for dinner with... i dun feel like making any effort to be connected with them anymore.. issit just me and my weird antics or is dat normal? i dun think dats normal.. in fact i feel terrible without people around me, and yet im distancing myself from them.. im not doing it to everybody though, but after i think about it, i think i have only 7 people left whom i can really feel at ease with.. without having the need to make any extra effort to be connected..
i have no idea why my thoughts and behaviour are kinda extreme these days.. i think its my work.. its the fuking joB!!!!
i seriously need to feel happy soon.
penned at