Thursday, November 30, 2006

complaints complaints complaints..

i felt out of place at work today. couldn't quite put a finger to whats wrong, but i just felt so. maybe it was becus i took urgent am leave and went back in the afternoon when everybody was already settled in work. i can be so niao/sensitive about such things.

today partner told me the others had gotten a form for the a*bap course. the one i had approached my boss about becus they left me out of the list. and why? becus i cannot make up my mind about which programming path i want to take. shouldnt it be the case that i or any other ppl who are still indecisive about which path be informed? so that they can make a wiser choice? i wasn't told of the j*ava course, nor this a*bap course. fug.

so i approached boss. said i was interested. boss said will inform the upper boss and will let me know in due time. now is due time. i wasn't told. at least a rejected email or verbal reject will be appropriate. now there's none. will wait till monday.

penned at ¶ 11:31 PM

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

had a good off day with my boy on monday.

relaxing day, just "swimming", pigging out at sakae buffet, window shopping around.. the kind of fulfilling off day. not my kind of sleeping the whole day. heh.

today went back office feeling weird. abit giddy and weak. might be the med i took for my red swollen eye in the morning.

i realised i stiffened up abit with regards to the semi-close relationship i have with my bosses, after i had a conversation with my boy regarding my behaviour with them. i was too friendly, chatty, easy going with my bosses. i had never really put them on a higher level unless im talking serious business with them. it may or may not be acceptable in another company. sigh. restrictions.

penned at ¶ 10:38 PM

Sunday, November 26, 2006

i'd made my decision..
i wont be playing with them anymore. :(

started packing my room 2 hours ago. its not even 1/10th packed. im gonna need alot of time on this! damn. reliving old memories and laughing at photographs. i wish i didn't have to move. yet if i hadn't move, i will never bring out these old stuff to pack. then i wouldn't have any memories to relive.

penned at ¶ 10:34 PM

Saturday, November 25, 2006

a decision to make.

i have to decide by tomorrow whether i want to be back in the team or not. lots of reasons not to play, and few lil reasons to.

facing reality,
my stamina is cui-ed.
my back is just getting a lil better and i dun want to aggravate it.
fb is a sport that needs lots of twisting and turning and fast speed and bending.
i will most probably only be a sub for most of the games.
i may feel out of place with the team.
i can play a new sport.
i will have more work commitments on weekends if they offer me the damn course.

i love the game.
it destresses me and takes my mind away from work.
i played it for 5 years.

HOW??! :(

penned at ¶ 12:36 AM

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

sometimes you get the feeling that no matter what you do is never good enough.

we only learn when we start to regret.

penned at ¶ 10:17 PM

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

peefs.

been getting very short fused again recently. irritated at lil things.

i cannot stand po po ma ma people when im in a hurry.

i dislike people who beat around the bush. if you can come, come. do not say if so and so comes i come. bugger off.

i prefer to plan ahead of time so that i get the best deals. i prefer to know where im going and what i'll be doing when im with a big group. i prefer not to be blur.

Being more open minded and more easy going with certain things is good. but some people do take advantage of this point and now i only go by the logic, you give i give. you don't give i don't give. i try my utmost not to let me or my boy or my family get taken advantage of, even if its friends. yea. certain things im not open minded. i cannot live and let live. its just my character.

penned at ¶ 11:23 PM

Thursday, November 02, 2006

went to my cousin's wedding on wed at raffles the plaza. both were air steward and stewardess with our country's airline. dashing and beautiful! but i prefer the bride in normal wear without that thicccccck make up. erk. i guess they'll be thinking very hard of a place for honeymoon since they've already gone to so many places with each other! =)

besides sharing in their joy, i saw some of my relatives whom i havent seen for almost 8-10 years. lost contact due to internal family conflict and my cousin-in-law's work. i still remember i always wanted to braid my cousin's long hair and now she's 30+ with a child. i wonder if she still remembers me. how weird things change. i didn't go up for fear of lack of conversational topics.

on another note, i havent received my phuket 2nd day pics. grrrrr. im starting to get very irritated/pissed/nonchalant about it. well they have the full set of pics and i have only half. uploading pics to yousendit.com. isn't all that difficult. i dun understand why they don't even have half an hour to spare. i wonder if i'll ever get it at all.

penned at ¶ 11:02 PM